A Day To Share and Remember

Families gathered at California State University, San Bernardino last Saturday Oct. 24 to walk, hug, weep, talk, share, and remember. With the morning sun already shining brightly on them against the mountain backdrop, they stood on the lawn in front of the campus library. Each family patiently waited to hear the name of their loved one during the Memorial Ceremony preceding the event. The event on campus that day was the 6th Annual Inland Empire Walk to Remember, hosted by Forever Footprints. It is a walk of remembrance held every October for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. After the memorial ceremony, the phrase “walk the steps that babies will never take” was the cue to begin the Walk to Remember along an approximate 3-mile path of personalized posters. Small and large groups, some with strollers and wagons, made their way to the path. Families varied in age, race, ethnicity, and group size. No two families looked the same. However, they all shared a common bond—the loss of a child. Mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, and other relatives were in attendance Saturday morning to remember and honor their loved one. At the Memorial Wall, they searched for the child’s name, stood on each side, and smiled for the camera as they pointed to the spot. Many wore personalized shirts or special photo buttons. One large group had various superhero shirts, while others had specific phrases, like the two that stood out to me: Held by few, loved by all and Still Born June 12, 2015. Unlike other walks that raise money for research of a better tomorrow, this one could not. Instead it provided the feeling of “I am not alone.” It provided support. Forever Footprints was founded ten years ago, in Orange County, by two mothers who each experienced the death of their baby: Kristyn von Rotz and Lyndsey McLaughlan,. What started as a walk of 100 participants turned into an outreach for families. Cathy Beliakoff, Program Coordinator, stated, “It is not just a walk anymore.” The organization has become a place of support, education and remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. Through donations and grants, Cathy says that they have been able to offer such items as the Remembrance Basket and the Sibling to Remember backpack. The basket is a place for hospitals and mortuaries to carry the “angel baby,” while the free backpack offers support to the older siblings who may be feeling sad and confused. Journey to Remember is another layer of support offered to families. They provide “compassion, hope and guidance to families who continue a pregnancy with a life-limiting prenatal diagnosis." Joanna Perry, founder of Carrying Colin, and mother of Colin, said that meeting Amanda Balderrama, Director of Journey to Remember, in 2012 was a “game changer.” In her 11th week of pregnancy, she and her husband learned that their child had Anencephaly, a fatal neural tube defect. They chose to continue the pregnancy, knowing the predicted outcome. Shortly afterwards, they met Amanda who guided them through the steps of how to love and appreciate their child’s life through the womb. Joanna said this changed their whole outlook on the pregnancy. For more information on their services, check the website foreverfootprints.org. You can also hear more of the Perry’s story on carryingcolin.com. A Walk to Remember was more than a walk; it was a day for families to share stories with others who understood. It was a day to remember that their child will not be forgotten.